Thursday, February 10, 2011

An open book

Let me introduce myself: My name is Svenja and I am an open book.

Yesterday at work we had our first official team meeting. Until one week ago we were all just one big family with three team leaders. Since we will get 50 more colleagues by the end of July we were divided up into teams.
So, yesterday the first meeting. Our team leader had the idea to hand out three little papers to each one of us on which we were supposed to write three secrets about ourselves. We had one hour time during work to come up with ideas. While my team mates were most worried not to share something too private with the team my problem was rather: I don't have a secret. I say what I think, I say what I feel and although I have just been at that job for a little more than two months most people already know quite a lot about me. Since I was little my mother used to warn me not to share too much personal info with strangers but apparently up to this age I haven't managed to hold back. Apparently this is who I am, this is how I roll. If I was a celebrity I would be all over the tabloids and papparazzi don't even need to follow me, I would probably tell them everything straight away and take the pictures for them.

Maybe I should try to be a little bit more careful, the world is cruel to naive girls who assume that everyone is nice and honest. Personal information is such a valuable thing and it should not be available to everyone who is asking for it (and in my case not even asking for it). It is the constant struggle between knowing one thing and doing the other thing, between heart and brain.

I am not sure if me being so open is a good thing or not, but all the time fighting who I am does not seem like the right track either. Some people might find me overwhelming and too talkative, but I am not aiming at being everybody's darling. First of all because it is impossible to be liked by everyone and second: why would I? I used to have classmates and friends who were changing their opinion depending on who they were talking to. I wonder if you are still able to have a really own opinion after all if you keep on changing your direction like a little flag in the wind?

So my colleagues wrote down things like "I like traveling", "I like vampire movies", "I am married" and "Globetrotter" while I wrote down "Have recently been heartbroken", "I am terribly scared of clowns and spiders" and "I hate making mistakes because I wanna be faster at work". While most of my colleagues wrote quite general things on their papers it was rather difficult to guess who wrote what. On the contrary it was very easy for the others to guess which notes I had written. Again, I am an open book!

Good night dear friends!

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